Weekly Intention – Personal Leadership – Social & Emotional Dimension

01.23.13 | Posted in Weekly Intention

Personal Leadership – we are moving along the four quadrants of Personal Leadership with this week’s Weekly Intention focused on the Social and Emotional dimensions of you as a person and therefore, a leader. Last week we looked at the Mental dimension and suggested that it was possible the most important dimension. Through all of my reading and research and from personal experience, I’ve come to  believe the Mental dimension is the most important because it is the foundation for which everything else is built upon. A healthy brain and mind will allow you to focus, be resilient, and grow and embrace new things in your life much easier and with greater speed.


The third dimension of our discussion, Social and Emotional, is quite vast and will be covered in more detail as we move through the competencies of emotional intelligence. The UnComon Leadership model that I’ve developed fits quite well with this discussion.  Here’s a link to the model that’s on the website:


After a review of this model you see quite clearly why I’ve labeled it a “continuum.” This is an ongoing process we should all be engaged in if we are to grow in our stature and competence as a leader.  Notice also where this model begins and where it starts the beginning of the next phase – self-awareness. In the executive coaching work I’ve done the past four years this is the area of greatest potential growth I see for leaders. Most have no real clue as to how they impact others with their current leadership style. They think they do, but they don’t. The self-management step is the emotional part of our discussion. So, together, you have self-awareness, which is your social intelligence and then self-management which brings the two pieces together for an outcome of creating higher Social and Emotional Intelligence. The early writings about EQ (Emotional Intelligence) by the likes of Daniel Goleman and others have given way lately to the addition of the social element. Even Goleman himself has added the Social conversation to his writings. What writers and researchers have realized is that to have great EQ there must be a strong social intelligence as well.

Before we begin to apply the ARIA model get a pen/paper, ipad/stylus or however you take notes and save important planning that you do. TIP: do this process described below mentally first, then go back through and capture in more detail what your thoughts were!

Awareness – How healthy do you believe you are in your social dimension? Are you comfortable with who you are? Are you comfortable meeting new and interesting people? Can you adapt easily in different environments with different types of people? What about your emotional regulation? Do you have difficulty in any area here? How about your ability to control your anger? What about how you deal with conflict, or do you ignore it because you know you can’t manage your emotions if the conflict gets too tense?

Reflection – If you uncovered some areas that really need to be addressed, then take time to reflect on the benefits of a focused, intentional effort to begin to address the social and emotional dimensions of you as a person. What relationships could be restored or strengthened by development in these two area? What would happen to you as a leader if you were able to maintain your composure and your emotions no matter what was going on around you? What if you no longer allowed others to “take you hostage” with their words or actions? How much would you gain by owning who you are and no longer blaming the past or others for your current state of social and emotional competency?

Insight  – What areas of growth stood out for you as you became aware and gained insight into your current status with this dimension? Is this a strength for you or a place where intentional focus could pay big dividends? What could be the most important benefit of increasing your skills and competency here? Do you really believe that you can accurately gauge your competency or do you need outside feedback to gain a 360 view?

ACTION –  Our mantra is knowledge is just information without ACTION?! Decide now what action steps you need to begin that will move you toward creating higher competency in the social and emotional dimensions? What’s the one thing you could begin to do today that would make the biggest difference?


Now, however you set goals and create accountability, get going! Do you use SMART goals? The get smart and do it! Whatever method you use, commit it in writing and to the right people for accountability for your goals.


Resources to help you discover more about your brain and your mind and how to take care of them both!



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